20 ways to survive in a horror movie. -
A quick run-down should you ever find yourself trapped in a horror movie and would prefer to live to tell the tale.
1. Don’t have sex.
- Seriously
- Abstinence is key.
2. Don’t go out with people you’ve just met that day.
- I don’t care how good he says his weed is
- he is cuckoo bananas
- and he wants you dead.
3. Don’t go to camp. Especially one where someone was murdered.
- There are six words you should YouTube, should you get the chance
- “Kevin Bacon in Friday the 13th”
4. Find a good hiding place and… STAY. THERE.
- If the killer can’t see you or hear you WHY WOULD YOU MOVE?
- Possibly the easiest rule to follow and, ironically enough, the easiest to break.
5. Always wear sensible shoes, ‘cause you never know when you’ll need to run through the woods.
- Someone will always be barefoot
- Or in heels
- Or just plain clumsy
- And will sprain their ankles
- And die.
6. If the town looks deserted, it’s probably because everyone is dead.
- Don’t walk around looking for people
7. Don’t be a hero.
- Unless your name is Harry Fucking Potter, you will die.
- Hell, maybe even then.
- I mean.
8. If you hear something creepy in the distance, like a dog’s yelp cut off mid-bark, don’t investigate.
- The killer is there.
- Also your dog is dead.
9. Always check the backseat before entering your vehicle.
- The last thing you need is to be killed while trying to merge on the expressway.
10. If your car breaks down in front of a dilapidated gas station, don’t ask a sketchy-looking townie for help.
- Some part of your body will wind up in his pick-up truck
11. Don’t go into the basement.
- They are creepy enough without you dying in one.
12. If you’re trying to buy a house and the real estate agent won’t answer any direct questions about either the history of the home or the previous tenants, DO NOT MOVE IN.
- At some point, someone in the house heard voices and cracked.
13. Turn off the television (and run away) if a girl crawls out of it.
- It is obviously your wisest choice.
14. If the walls of your house bleed, do not attempt an exorcism.
- Move very very far away
- Because there’s blood on your walls.
- Blood.
- Your
- Walls
- Are
- Bleeding.
15. Don’t act like a detective.
- Some crazy Japanese kid who meows like a cat will attack you in a closet.
16. Google the location you’ll be vacationing at.
- If more than five reports for “Missing Persons” pops up, you know not to go there.
- Issue. Solved.
17. Don’t get drunk. Or come under the influence of any mind-altering drug.
- Running away from a killer is that much harder when you’re tipsy and giggling.
18. If you see someone in a mask, don’t assume it’s one of your friends playing a trick on you to scare you.
- It is the killer.
- They will kill you.
19. Don’t take a shower.
- ONLY APPLIES IF:
- It’s past midnight at the campground you and your sorority sisters are staying at or
- The lock to the door doesn’t work and you hear creepy piano music.
20. If the call is coming from inside the house, get out.
- Clearly the killer is not outside, now is he.
omg i’m crying
This is awesome I’d also like to add #21. Don’t assume the killer is dead cause you hit him once! HE IS NOT DEAD & IS NOW PISSED OFF THAT YOU HIT HIM!! You can expect to die even worse then the couple who didn’t pay attention to RULE #1
(Source: justnithya, via athenaohwise1)
Movie critics across the country have been pretty hard on Martin Campbell’s “The Green Lantern”, some of it is deserved but a big portion of that is not. A few reviewers mocked the other Lantern’s in the film as “Star Wars rejects”. They must have forgotten the Green Lantern Corps and their members who are adapted beautifully I might add, were around long before George Lucas gave us “Star Wars”. The critic who compared Green Lantern to Tim Story’s “Fantastic Four” and Ang Lee’s “Hulk” needs his eyes check. This movie is so much better than those two films it makes me wonder if the reviewer even watched Green Lantern at all.
Don’t get me wrong, out of the three superhero movies we’ve had this summer it definitely ranks last, but not because it’s a bad flick. The first two this year (Marvel’s “Thor” and Fox’s “X-Men: First Class”) were great movies, among the best superhero films we’ve had. While I woulnd’t classify Green Lantern as great by any stretch, it is good. Okay on to the good and the bad of the movie. Don’t worry kids, it’s spoiler free….
THE SCRIPT? BAD To be perfectly honest what really holds the movie back more than anything is the script, which jumps around too fast. They should have taken a clue from “Iron Man”, which takes it time to develop Tony Stark into the hero. It never felt rushed like it did at times in Green Lantern. The movie was only a little over 90 minutes, about 30 minutes shorter than most superhero films. We need that time to see the hero grow, it just felt too short in Green Lantern.
RYAN REYNOLDS AS HAL JORDAN? I’m still undecided on that one. Some actors really capture the spirit of the character, like Christopher Reeve and Hugh Jackman. Reynolds never really did, and maybe the script is to blame. It seemed like the script catered to Reynold’s typical style more than the style of what Hal Jordan should be at times. There were times, like one particular scene on Oa, that Reynolds WAS Hal Jordan. It was perfect the way he carried himself, and I thought to myself that he found his niche. Then that Hal Jordan essence is gone again. This might be one of those things I might have to wait till the BluRay hits and I can watch it several times to really decide what I think of his performance. It’s not Robert Downey Jr’s Tony Stark but it’s not quite Nicolas Cage’s Johnny Blaze either.
BLAKE LIVELY AS CAROL FERRIS? Forget what all the critics have said, she did well in the role. Her first appearance wasn’t great, came off kind of stiff. But as the movie went on she found her niche and did very well I thought. Maybe it’s because I expected something awful because of the “experts” bashing, but I really liked Lively.
MARK STRONG AS SINESTRO? If his role were larger, I’d put it right up there with Michael Fassbender’s Magneto. Mark Strong nailed Sinestro from the comics. He came off arrogant, powerful, yet you could see why the Lantern’s all looked to him at the same time.
PETER SARSGAARD AS HECTOR HAMMOND? As my wife put it after the movie, “That Hector guy was creepy…” and that was very well said. Bad script or not he made the most of it.
THE LOOK AND FEEL OF OA I found myself wanting them to show more of Oa, to spend more time there. Felt like it was right out of the comics.
THE VOICE OF PARALAX Oh Paralax was the villain? He sounded EXACTLY like Megatron
All in all what I think it boils down to is that if you are a fan of comics (not just GL but in general) you’ll probably enjoy Green Lantern a great deal, and if you’re not a fan of the comics you probably won’t. I’d rate it as middle of the pack as far as recent superhero movies (past 10 yrs) go, and that’s not such a bad thing
Yesterday DC comics made a huge announcement: They’re rebooting their entire line of comics and all published titles will start over at #1. That’s a very bold move for a company that has been doing superhero comics since 1938, and has the two most recognizable superheroes on the planet in Superman & Batman.The big question…is why? What makes DC feel the need to reboot their entire line of comics?
DC’s biggest problem to many non-readers is their comics are too hard to follow if you haven’t been a regular reader for years. I’ve heard countless people tell me that over the past 5 years or so. When I started reading DC comics again, it was the Batman: Hush storyline that drew me in, and it wasn’t long before I was picking up several titles a month. I didn’t find it confusing, but apparantly I’m the exception and not the rule. I have a friend who is a huge comics fan but only reads Marvel titles, and has tried reading Batman but found it too confusing to follow. He loves the Batman movies, the classic animated series, and tried several issues of both Batman and Detective Comics…just couldn’t follow it. It boggles my mind how anyone could find DC’s titles hard to follow, but then again…maybe I’m the exception.
I’ll admit the rising cost of comics has forced me to cut back since building a new house, I can’t buy as many comics as I’d like to. After going several months without reading anything from either of the two major companies, I picked up a few titles from each. After reading Superman, Action Comics, and Batman I was left thinking “Huh?” Felt like I had missed years of reading. The Marvel titles I picked up (Amazing Spider-Man, Captain America, Uncanny X-Men) made me feel like I picked right up where I left off.
Over the years one thing I’ve noticed about the difference between DC fans and Marvel fans is that DC has the more hardcore fans. They’ve read DC comics since they were a kid and they’d give up a kidney before they’d stop reading about the adventures in Metropolis and Gotham City. They generally read more title each month than Marvel fans too. I know that’s not always the case, but that’s the general rule. Marvel readers on the other hand are generally more casual. Marvel brings more new readers into comic shops and bookstores than DC does, plain and simple. The reason? When Marvel launches a movie they almost always have a new title of whatever character hitting the newstands. They did it with Ghost Rider, Iron Man and Thor. I remember being in Mountain Empire Comics in Bristol, Tennessee and three different people came in and told the owner they were wanting Ghost Rider stuff, and asked what a good starting point would be. As luck would have it Marvel was one step ahead of the comic shops, and there was a new #1 to greet the new reader.
Do all of those new readers stick to comics? Of course not, but Marvel makes plenty of money off those readers who just buy a couple issues. Just before the Dark Knight came out I recall being in that same comic shop and someone came in wanting to start reading Batman and asked where to start…even as a hardcore comics fan I wouldn’t have known what to say. The owner suggested lots of things, and the guy ended up leaving with a single title in his hands…Iron Man.
My guess is this the reason DC is making the extremely bold move it is making, trying to draw in new readers. As much as I am against the idea of starting Action Comics over at #1, I have to admit it would be much less intimidating for a new reader to pick up Action Comics #16 than it would be Action Comics #932. But why do the entire line? Couldn’t they just launch a new Superman title when ‘Man of Steel’ comes out in 2012? Or better yet, since Smallville ended with Clark Kent becoming Superman, would a comic based on that not be the PERFECT starting point for someone wanting to read Superman?
If these characters are all going to be a little younger as has been suggested, what happens to the Batman universe of characters? Is Dick Grayson still Nightwing, or is he Robin again? Is everyone’s favorite Robin, Tim Drake, going to be back in that role or still be Red Robin? Better yet, do we get to see the Joker murder Jason Todd again?
This line-wide reboot does away with all the great things Geoff Johns (@GeoffJohns0) did on Green Lantern over the last couple of years. Green Lantern was a character I always thought was interesting but couldn’t get into because it was a little confusing to me, and when they relaunched it I picked it up and was blown away by everything. What made me truly love Hal Jordan? The punch he delivered to Batman’s jaw when Batman tried to boss him around.
Over the past couple of years we’ve had FOUR different Flash’s, and that has been confusing to even me. Jay Garrick is the first Flash and is still the Flash, okay I get it. Barry Allen was the second Flash and his costume wasn’t stupid like Jay Garrick, okay I’m with you. Wally West was Kid Flash (what a stupid sidekick name) and became the main Flash when Barry Allen died in Crisis on Infinite Earths, Okay I’m still with you. Barry Allen’s grandson from the future came back in time and became the new Kid Flash and later changed his name to Impulse (good move)…I think I’m still with you. Then Wally West, Jay Garrick and Impulse pushed Superboy Prime (huh, who’s that?) into the speed force and Wally West disappeared, and Bart Allen was suddenly all grown up (seriously DC?) and soon the new Flash. Then Flash’s rogue’s gallery gang up on him and kill him and next thing you know a bolt of lightning comes from the sky and Wally West has returned and is the Flash once again. Oh then something else happens and Barry Allen is back again, and Barry and Wally are the Flash. Oh and somewhere down the line Bart Allen came back too…I think I have a headache now.
So with certain titles I can see DC’s thinking on rebooting them, some of them are confusing. Others like Superman aren’t confusing at all, last son from another planet falls in love with Lois Lane and fights for truth, justice, and…oh yeah he’s not an American citizen anymore. Who’s stupid ass idea was that again anyway??
I get it that DC is going to have to make changes to Superman because of the lawsuit with the Siegels and Shusters (they sold Superman to DC fair and square, just because they didn’t get a good deal don’t mean you get a do-over) and some things will be different. He’s apparantly not going to be wearing his underwear over his costume anymore, and I have no problem with that at all. The rumor that he’s going to be romantically involved with Wonder Woman doesn’t bother me at all either, because I know his endgame always will be Lois Lane.
Maybe the Superman lawsuit is the root cause of all these changes. If you’re going to be forced to make fundamental changes to your biggest character and one of the most famous fictional characters in the world, why not do all of your characters at the same time and make a big fuss about it. The thing I question about it is what if people reject the changed you (were forced to) make to Superman? You made big changes to your entire line including Batman, and if your current and new readers reject this new Batman…you are screwed.
DC will make big money off this new project. There will be plenty of idiots who will run up and buy multiple copies of the new Action #1 thinking they’ll be worth thousands in a few years. But part of DC’s charm is it’s rich history, part of why I like it. Is some of it hard to follow? Of course, but that’s what wikipedia is for.
In the end this is a huge gamble for DC comics, but maybe a necessary one because of the Superman lawsuit. Maybe DC is making the move now before it is forced to in a year or two. This is a risky move no doubt about it, but DC has the right men on the job in Geoff Johns and Jim Lee. Johns is DC’s best writers and one of the two best (Marvel’s Ed Brubaker is the other) in the game today, and Jim Lee is the artist of the best selling single issue of all-time (X-Men) and responsible for the amazing look of DC Universe Online. While the risk is high, so is the possible reward. I look at what Geoff Johns has done when he has free reign over something, and the results are amazing. His three episodes of Smallville (Legion, Absolute Justice, Booster) were great episodes that gave comics fans all they could ask for on a TV budget.
If Geoff Johns can do for the entire DC Universe what he did for Green Lantern, then the reward will be worth the huge risk DC is taking. While I’m still not sold on this whole idea, in Geoff Johns and Jim Lee I trust.
As sports fans we all love to see the next big thing. We don’t care which of the big four sports it is, we’re there to watch the next great player so we can tell our kids one day we saw them play. It’s not every day we get a ‘sure thing’ phenom in sports, the ones that are so good they’re a can’t miss prospect. Baseball has had two in as many years, Stephen Strasburg last year and Bryce Harper this season. Before Strasburg you have to go back to Kerry Wood to see a baseball prospect generate as much excitement. Not all of them turn out to be as good as the experts predict, let us not forget Todd Van Poppel.
But then they do turn out to be everything the media hypes them up to be, we as sports fan can’t get enough. Not every single one of us mind you, but speaking in general terms. There’s a reason SportsCenter leads off with the highlights of the same teams night in and night out. The latest case of the can’t miss prospect is currently public enemy number one in Cleveland, Ohio.
We were told LeBron James would have been the first pick in the NBA draft if he could have skipped his senior season…in high school. We were told he would come in and would be a matchup nightmare, and that he has. To be perfectly honest, LeBron James has been nothing short of a superstar, a term that is thrown around WAAAYYY too much these days, but James is excatly that. He’s a rock star in a world of rock stars. Don’t agree? You must have been in a coma when he made ‘The Decision’ to leave Ohio and head to the Florida sunshine.
But sometimes we get caught up in the hoopla of a superstar, the excitement that comes along with watching them play. We get carried away sometimes and say things that isn’t fair to so many that have come before the superstars of today. I remember someone boldly stating Cal Ripken Jr was the greatest shortstop to ever play that game, arguing against someone who believed Derek Jeter deserved that honor. I guess their history book starts in 1980 and doesn’t include Honus Wagner.
That brings me to another idiotic statement, this one from someone who really should know better. Today Scottie Pippen said LeBron James is a better all around player than Michael Jordan was. I’m not going to take anything away from LeBron James, he deserves his name mentioned among the top 15 ever to play the game. For someone who played alongside Jordan I expect better from Pippen.
On the offensive end of the court, James is a physical phenomenon who is a matchup nightmare for opposing small forwards. He is capable of dominating a game on any given night. The difference between James and Jordan on the offensive end, is Jordan dominated EVERY night. Opposing players were scared to death to guard Jordan in the final minutes of a game. You could tell by MJ’s smile he could see the fear on the other guy’s face. At the same age LeBron is now, Jordan average 35 points a game competing against truly great teams in the Boston Celtics, Detroit Pistons, and Los Angeles Lakers. Competition then was far greater than it is today. That’s not to take anything away from LeBron, just to illustrate how great Jordan was.
On the defensive side of the floor it isn’t even close, Jordan by a landslide. James is a damn good defender, but Jordan is one of the greatest defensive players to ever play. Go look at the annual lists of the NBA All-Defensive team, Jordan’s name is the first team list nearly every year he played. But there’s one key aspect about Jordan that LeBron’s fans are overlooking…
Jordan retired from basketball because he wanted to pursue new challenges, meaning he wasn’t challenged by anyone in the NBA. When he came back, he won three more consecutive NBA championships before retiring…again. Maybe the biggest reason Jordan is the greatest ever…he was so great and so dominate he got bored with the game.
I wasn’t always a Superman fan. Naturally as a child I was, what kid doesn’t like Superman? Growing up I always read comics, never missed an issue of the Amazing Spider-Man, the Uncanny X-Men, and Superman. As I got older and began to mature I became disenchanted with the Man of Steel. The stories of Professor X’s bunch and the bad luck of Peter Parker kept me enthralled, but Superman failed to keep me interested. I just couldn’t relate to him.
No I don’t know what it’s like to climb walls, teleport, or have unbreakable claws pop out of my knuckles, but those characters had real world problems. The X-Men were out to help save the world, and everyone hated them for it. All they wanted was to keep people safe and the population by and large despised them. Almost every kid growing up has some kids in school that don’t like you for some reason or other, despite you having never done anything to them. In the case of Spider-Man, if you strip away his abilities he’s as normal as you and I. As Spider-Man he saved the day, but people disliked him because the local paper made him out to be a menace. He worked hard but stayed on his boss’s bad side. He had a hard time paying his rent. His trouble with women is legendary. All that stuff is very relatable. When it came to Superman, it was just hard to relate to a guy who was perfect and never screwed anything up.
When I first heard a new Superman show was coming to television my first thought was that it was awfully fast, just a couple of years after the end of Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman. Then when I heard it was really about Superman, but him as a boy growing up and there would be no cape my thought was “this is going to SUCK”. I’ve never been more wrong about anything in my life.
I’ll be completely honest, I didn’t watch the series premiere when it first aired. I was so sure it was going to be awful I wasn’t going to waste my time. The next day my brother-in-law asked me if I watched it and I laughed. Why would I watch it? He told me I missed out, that the show was awesome. I was skeptical, still wasn’t about to watch it. Finally one night in 2002 by chance I was flipping channels and came across the WB right as Smallville was coming on, and by chance (or fate?) it was ‘Pilot’. First thought on my mind was “I can’t wait to tell him this show sucks.” The first moments of Clark drinking milk he came off as cocky, and I thought I was going to be right.
Then came the permission slip for football. He wanted to play, his father wouldn’t sign his permission slip. When I was in seventh grade my mother wouldn’t sign my permission slip to play football, thought it was too dangerous. Much like Clark, I pleaded my case to no avail. In that moment, if only just a little, I could relate to the boy that would become Superman. Then a few minutes later when he spots Lana and walks towards her and falls apart, I could totally relate to him. We’ve all had that girl (or guy) we had a huge crush on, and anytime they were around we’d go to pieces. When I was watching ‘Pilot’ I was twenty-two years ago, and I never felt like I could relate to Superman on anything. Smallville had managed to do it in two major ways in less than fifteen minutes. Then when he got the truck as a gift from Lex and was told his father had the keys, reminded me of so many times I had to ask my Dad for something, knowing he was going to shoot me down…and Clark had that look on his face the same as I did all those times. Damn you Smallville, that’s THREE times in less than twenty-three minutes of airtime.
Lana being in the graveyard talking to parents was another thing I could relate to, having lost my mother to cancer in April of 2001. Many days I would go and just sit there and talk, not knowing if she could hear me or not wherever she was, but knowing it made me feel better. There was Chloe’s pining after Clark, and we’ll all had someone we were crazy about that just didn’t see us the same way. There was Lex, that friend your parents were crazy about and you didn’t seem to understand why. I could relate to all those things. Maybe more than anything was just that you could see Clark just wanted to be the real him, and just couldn’t let it out. We’re all like that in some way or another.
When Clark finally told Pete his big secret, he could be the real him around Pete without holding anything back. We’ve all had (or have) that friend we could be completely open with and be ourselves with, not having to hold back or watch what we say. We all that friend like Lex who we really like and get along with, but deep down do we trust them completely?
As Clark grew into himself as the series went along, I never failed to be able to relate to him somehow. We have friends at work we like and are part of our little group (Jimmy…err Henry Olsen) but we’re not sure we can be honest with them about certain things because we don’t know how they’ll take it. We’ve all had that boss like Tess (just not as good looking) that’s always on our ass for some reason or another. We’ve all had that relationship that we knew was doomed to fail (Lana) but we kept trying anyway. We’ve all made choices that we thought we the right one (saving Lana) but backfired (Jonathan died) in horrendous fashion. Some of us are lucky enough to have someone that seems to be a terrible fit (Lois) for us, but turns out to be perfect.
To me the thing that made Smallville the success it was, is that it took the world’s first superhero and made him someone we can all relate to. You weren’t just interested in him saving the day, you wanted to see what he did when he was faced with difficult decisions in his personal life. Smallville made me believe Superman was just as human as I am in a lot of ways, made me believe that Superman truly is the world’s greatest superhero, and by the end…it made me believe a man can fly.
Here is my list of what I think are the 100 greatest villains in the history of comics. Not necessarily the 100 most evil characters, because in that case Mephisto would be number one hands down. It’s more like the 100 greatest villains as far as how good of a character they are. While Galactus might devour planets which is pretty evil, he’s not as deep or as interesting a character as Lex Luthor or the Green Goblin. I’ll warn you ahead of time, if they’re not a Marvel or DC villain they’re probably not on this list. There are a lot of villains that maybe should have been included that I unintentionally left out, but I did put a good bit of effort into this list. Some of you might not agree with my list, and if you do…go do your own list :p
100. Amanda Waller – When someone is this tight with Lex Luthor, you don’t want to cross her. Her reach extends to many other faucets, including manipulating the government to let her use the Suicide Squad to do whatever she wants them to do. Maybe the scariest thing about her is the fact that she isn’t intimidated by Batman, and most heroes can’t even say that.
99. Ventriloquist – This guy has issues. When not around the puppet Scarface, he acts scared of death of the lifeless wooden doll. When he gets his hands on it the puppet comes to life shooting his machine guy at anyone who dares to cross him.
98. Carnage – We all know Venom is a one bad dude, but what would happen if that symbiote would have attached itself to a serial killer instead of just a photographer who hated Peter Parker? Carnage is the result. Far more powerful than its parent symbiote that had bonded to Eddie Brock, Carnage has even temporarily bonded with the Silver Surfer, taking all of his might to fend it off.
97. Harley Quinn – This chick is nuts, and that’s all there is to it. She worked at Arkham and while over the course of therapy sessions with the Joker she falls in love with him. Told you she was nuts. Now she’ll do anything to make “Mr. J” happy, and nothing makes him happier than making Batman’s life a living hell.
96. Bane – Okay, maybe he was just sort of thrown in there as Batman’s answer to Doomsday, but the guy did kick the crap out of Bruce Wayne and break the man’s back. He was never elevated to the level of Poison Ivy or Mr. Freeze in Batman’s rogue’s gallery, but just the mention of his name is enough to make Batman rest uneasy.
95. Circe – It’s a shame that perhaps Wonder Woman’s greatest foe is this low on the list, which goes to show why the Amazon goddess has struggled to stay popular over the years. You’re only as good as your villains, and Circe just doesn’t have that star factor that Lex Luthor and the Joker have.
94. Bizarro – So maybe he was a bad idea for a bad guy, but he is an entertaining super-villain. Whether he is trying to kill the Man of Steel, or is trying to be his friend, it’s never a dull read when Bizarro graces the pages of Superman or Action Comics.
93. Silver Banshee – Given that Superman can be inside the Watchtower and hear Lois drop her pen at the Daily Planet, combined with the fact that the Silver Banshee’s sonic scream is magic based and she is a handful for the Man of Steel, even on his best day.
92. Chameleon – This was the first super-villain type enemy that Spider-Man ever had, first appearing in the pages of Amazing Spider-Man #1. He can take on any appearance, and has even disguised himself as Peter Parker before, much to his dismay.
91. Arcade – If ever there was a fun villain, it’s this foe of the X-Men. Not content with being a world class assassin, he likes to watch his prey die inside a funhouse of death. He might be a killer, but at least he does it with style.
90. Mojo – This Jabba the Hutt wannabe is the ruler of a planet that has no elections, their leader chosen by who can deliver the most entertaining television. I couldn’t make that up. By far the most popular of his guest stars are the X-Men, who he has tried to kill numerous times.
89. Toyman – What’s not cool about a guy who turns seemingly normal toys into weapons of mass destruction? So he might not be the most successful bad guy on the block, but he does manage to get on Superman’s nerves from time to time and that in and of itself is an accomplishment.
88. Omega Red – Arkady was supposed to be Russia’s secret weapon against the rest of the world during the Cold War, but the combined forces of Wolverine, Sabertooth, and Maverick put him on ice. Ever the survivor, he was brought back to take down Wolverine to synthesize his healing factor. The experiment ultimately failed, but not before comic fans watched him nearly kill Wolverine and half the X-men.
87. Mysterio – How bad do you think it pisses Peter Parker off that almost every time he takes a swing at Mysterio he connects with nothing but thin air? He’s the best there is at optical illusions, leaving the best in the superhero game wondering where he really is. If only he was a little bit smarter and a little less arrogant he would be a major problem instead of a big time nuisance.
86. Lady Deathstrike – Let’s see…she’s tall, is well versed in several forms of martial arts…oh yeah, and she kind of has admantium claws a whole lot longer than Wolverine. She’s also been known to hand him his ass a whole bunch too.
85. Clayface – How many Clayface’s have there been exactly? Who cares no matter the answer the character has always been a pain for Batman. Clayface owes a lot of his fan base to Batman: The Animated Series, because a lot of comic readers weren’t very familiar with him until he appeared on the legendary cartoon.
84. Silver Samurai – Armed with a legendary sword and the ability to wield one like no one else, there’s no surprise the Silver Samurai made the list. If we ever get another Marvel/DC crossover I’d love to see the Silver Samurai go at it with Deathstroke, which would be awesome.
83. Electro – Had Maxwell Dillon been a bit smarter, he could be the most powerful person in the world. But he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed, so instead he’s routinely beaten up by Spider-Man. He might not be the smartest villain around, but he does have one of the coolest costumes in the super villain community.
82. Parasite – Able to suck the life force out of any living creature, Parasite has a serious addiction to the power he gets from Superman. Whether he’s feeding off Superman, or leaving a normal human as a withered corpse Parasite is one super-villain you want to stay far, far away from.
81. Shadow King – One of the most underused super-villains in the Marvel Universe. He crushed Professor Xavier’s legs and nearly caused the X-men to splinter, that’s all in a days work for the Shadow King.
80. The Leader – What’s not cool about a bad guy with green skin and a huge head? Okay so that might not be cool, but he sure knows how to piss off the Hulk and make him smash things, and that is cool.
79. Rhino – So he might look a little silly dressed in a big rhino suit, but he can trade punches with the Hulk and has been a better nemesis for Spider-Man over the years than most people give him credit for. In Captain America: Fallen Son we see him visiting his mother’s grave, showing us that some villains have a soft side. Spider-Man sees him and attacks, letting the readers know that sometimes no matter how much a villain wants to do the right thing the universe won’t let them.
78. The Brood – Were they more intelligent, much higher on this list they would have been. For some reason the Brood always reminded me of the movie Aliens, except instead of Sigourney Weaver they were fighting the X-men. Point to the Brood.
77. Kraven the Hunter – Yeah Kraven might have been a little obsessed with the ultimate game, Spider-Man, but he had a rough edged charm. It seemed like he always managed to best Spider-Man, or at least more than any of his super-villain colleges could say. Spider-Man always escaped, but it seemed like that was always Kraven’s plan so he could hunt him down again.
76. Madelyne Pryor – Looking almost like an identical twin to Jean Grey, she worked her way into Scott Summers’s heart, and then moved on to his brother Alex. That’s enough to make anyone hate you, but throw in her becoming the Goblin Queen and that’s why she’s on his list.
75. Doomsday – To say he fell from the sky might be about as accurate as you can get. This born and bred killing machine from Krypton proved to be more than a match for the man of steel and sent him to an early grave. 74. Sauron – The man takes power from other mutants and turns into what seems to be one pissed off Pterodactyl? Yeah that’s pretty awesome. 73. Lady Viper - She’s one of the sexist super-villains around, and uses that to her advantage like any smart person would. One kiss is enough to kill, and more than one hero has tried to brave that before. 72. Soloman Grundy – You never know what you’re getting with Soloman Grundy. One time out he might be super intelligent, the next time he’s dumb as a box of rocks. One thing that never changes though is that he’s immortal and he’s going to keep popping up to give the Justice League trouble for years to come. 71. Prometheus – He kicked the crap out of Batman, that’s enough to get you on the top 100. His advanced weapons system downloads fighting styles directly to his brain, and within seconds he can learn any form of combat known to man. 70. Captain Boomerang – On the surface, Captain Boomerang comes off as a moron sometimes. It’s only when you peel that back and look underneath you see what a ruthless killer for hire he really was, at least before Jack Drake put a few rounds in his chest. 69. Mastermind – If nothing else, Shaw took a character that nobody cared about in Jean Grey, and made her a fan favorite. He continually played with her mind making her feel as if she was going crazy, and eventually she released the Phoenix force within. He also runs the Hellfire Club, and let’s face it there aren’t many places cooler to hang out in comics. 68. Abomination – Not many foes can stand toe to toe with the Hulk and trade punches, this guy in one of the very few. That alone is enough to put him on this list. 67. Queen Bee – On more than one occasion she’s gave Superman and Wonder Woman all they can handle, and that’s no small task. 66. Crimson Dynamo – One of Iron Man’s fiercest adversaries over the years, this Russian has a mean streak almost as long as his weapons list on his armor. Nothing will ever top his fight with Spider-Man in Washington DC though, which end with the webslinger asking Crimson Dynamo to “Say moose and squirrel.” Classic. 65. Captain Cold – There are enough Captains in Flash’s rogue to start an evil army. Any baddie who’s quick thinking enough to give Barry Allen or Wally West a hard time has my respect. 64. Killer Croc – He’s a giant alligator man who wants to bite Batman’s head off his shoulders, that’s got to count for something. 63. Elektra – Yes I know she’s been a hero and a villain, but she’s a much better bad guy than she is a good guy. Originally only around a few issues before her death at the hands of someone we’ll see a little later on this list (Bullseye), she was one of the few interesting characters surrounding Daredevil so the writers wouldn’t leave her dead very long. She’s beautiful and a deadly assassin to boot, and who doesn’t love those? 62. Dormammu – The guy gives Doctor Strange fits, and that makes him a very heavy hitter in the world of super villains. 61. Obadiah Stane – At one point Stane International was on the verge of putting Stark Industries out of business, proving what a dangerous foe Obadiah Stane was. Built the Iron Monger armor to destroy Iron Man and when he couldn’t succeed he turned his repulsors on himself, a mark of a true nutjob. 60. Star Sapphire 59. Justin Hammer – Don’t be fooled by the buffoon in Iron Man 2, Justin Hammer is one serious threat to Tony Stark. He’s a cunning businessman and it was because of him we got perhaps the two greatest Iron Man stories ever, Demon in a Bottle and Armor Wars. 58. Crossbones – If the fact that he’s banging Sin, the daughter of one of the Red Skull isn’t enough to show you how crazy he is, then maybe the fact that he’s pledged his allegiance to the Skull might be. He’s good with guns, and he’s stood toe to toe with Captain America enough times to legitimize himself as a damn good hand to hand fighter. 57. Dr. Light – He raped Sue Dibny in the Justice League Watchtower, and showed no remorse when he was caught. That’s enough for the Joker to call you a psychopath. 56. Amazo – Able to steal the powers of any member of the Justice League, he’s the most dangerous when the heavy hitters like Superman and Wonder Woman are around. The bigger artillery you bring to take Amazo down, the bigger the fight he puts up. 55. Hobgoblin – Let’s face it, one villain on a glider making Peter Parker’s like hell wasn’t enough. 54. Mystique – Raven Darkholme can change her appearance to look like anyone. She has fought on both sides of the law, but ultimately she cannot be trusted by either side. 53. Poison Ivy – She’s beautiful and has the ability to make anyone, man or woman, bend to her wishes. If that wasn’t enough, she can make plants do virtually anything she wants, and that usually includes trying to kill Batman. 52. Zoom – How dangerous would the Flash be if he had no morals? Zoom is the answer to that question. When he’s got his mad on, he’s more than a match for the entire Justice League of America, and he’s crazy to boot. 51. Lobo – The jury is seemingly always out as to whether Lobo is a hero or a villain, but considering he will do anything you pay him to that put you on the morally lacking side of the equation. This crazy bastich can exchange punches with Superman and Captain Marvel, and will do anything to protect his precious space dolphins. Yes that’s really lame, and if not for that he’d be higher.
50. Baron Mordo – The mention of the name is enough to give Doctor Strange nightmares. 49. Stryfe – He’s off his rocker, but wouldn’t you be if you found out you weren’t who you thought you were, but rather that person’s clone? He wants to make damn sure someone pays for that too, and that means Scott Summers and Jean Grey. I’ve read the ‘X-cutioner’s Song’ a dozen times, and I’m still not totally convinced that Cable isn’t the clone and Stryfe the real son, and that’s be good reason for him to be pissed off. 48. Thanos – Over the years there have been several villains who have brought the Avengers or the X-men to their knees, but only one has brought the entire Marvel Universe down. Armed with the Infinity Gauntlet, Thanos was able to manipulate anything and everything he wanted, and no one could do anything to stop him. It took everything nearly all the heroes in the Marvel Universe had to get the gauntlet away from him, and even now Thanos is a handful. 47. Mr. Freeze – Don’t let Joel Schumacher fool you, Mr. Freeze is a great bad guy. Remember what I said about Captain Cold giving Flash fits? Well Mr. Freeze is like Captain Cold on steroids, and he gives fits to the world’s greatest detective. 46. Cyborg Superman – Hank Henshaw does thing just to try and get the heroes to kill him, all he wants to do it die. Each time someone almost succeeds, the Manhunters bring him back. He’s responsible for more death and destruction than almost any villain in the DC universe. 45. Despero – So he looks like a grown fish with legs, so what? He also brought the Justice League to it’s knees in Crisis of Conscious, causing the league to disband entirely. Powerful enough of a telepath to block the Martian Manhunter and Auqaman from contacting the league, that’s one bad guy you don’t want to see show up at your front door. 44. Metallo – If there’s a foe that Superman definitely does not want to see, it’s Metallo. Armed with a kryptonite heart, he makes Superman weak just by being anywhere near him. There was also the possibility that John Corben killed Thomas and Martha Wayne, but that was just false into planted by Lex Luthor…or was it? 43. Mirror Master – Able to jump into a mirror and come out any mirror anywhere else in the world, it’s no wonder it takes someone as fast as the Flash to keep up with him. 42. Scarecrow – With his fear toxin at his disposal, he can take the bravest man alive and send him running in terror. Not the most physically imposing of Batman’s foes, but when you can turn the streets of Gotham into complete chaos that makes you very formidable. 41. Lizard – On the brink of a major discovery that would benefit mankind for centuries, Curt Connors used himself as a test subject and took a dose of his formula to regrow missing limbs. It worked, but shortly thereafter turned him into the Lizard, one of Spider-Man’s fiercest foes. What makes him interesting is how Spidey has to approach him, because he knows that his friend is inside that monster and will eventually revert back. 40. Mongul – Mongul stood toe to toe with Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman and would probably have killed all three had it not been for the actions of Jason Todd, using Mongul’s own Black Mercy against him. Like many villains, arrogance was Mongul’s biggest weakness. Obsessed with ruling Earth, in the years since his death his children have taken up his quest, although they don’t understand their father’s obsession with the ‘backwater planet’. 39. Venom – What happens when an alien symbiote obsessed with Peter Parker gets ahold of Eddie Brock, who just happens to hate Spider-Man? The answer is hell for your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man. Able to do anything Spider-Man can do but without the need for artificial web shooters, he is far more ferocious than the rest of Spidey’s rogues gallery. 38. Enchantress – The only thing greater than her desire to rule is her love for the God of Thunder, Thor. She has tricked him into helping her on numerous occasions, and for a brief time they lived together as lovers. She perished during Ragnarok fighting alongside Thor, one of the first victims of the God of Mischief, Loki. 37. Mandarin – Wielding ten ancient rings of vast power, the Mandarin is the greatest of Iron Man’s enemies. Truly evil, he is the only foe Tony Stark has whose firepower might eclipse his own. 36. Mr. Mxyzptlk – An imp from the 5th dimension, he has made Superman’s life a living hell for decades. What makes him interesting is he has a great amount of power, but he doesn’t desire to rule the world or kill anyone, he just wants to get on Superman’s nerves. 35. Skrulls – Shapeshifters from another world, they believe Earth to be of some significant religious importance to their race, and thus they continually try to take it over. Recently they succeeded in being able to make themselves undetected and infiltrated superhero teams and even the highest levels of our government as part of their master plan. If not for the untimely death of Elektra, whom changed back into a Skrull when she died, they might have pulled it off. 34. Lady Shiva – Quite possibly the best hand to hand fighter in all of comics, and that includes Batman and Captain America. She’s considered a better fighter than Black Canary and Cassandra Cain, and that’s high praise. 33. Gorilla Grodd – A super-intelligent ape who wants nothing more than to devolve all of humanity into apes, and therefore his slaves. He’s a powerful telepath and capable of controlling virtually any mind, it takes the lightning fast thinking (and feet) of the Flash to keep Grodd from accomplishing his goal. 32. General Zod – The man is at least partly responsible for the destruction of Krypton (by most versions of the story anyway) and once the council convicted him of crimes and sentenced him to the Phantom Zone, he swore revenge on Jor-El and his heirs. He has done his best to live up to his threat, and has brought hell to Superman’s door on multiple occasions. Zod has all of Superman’s abilities but none of his morals, but unlike Bizarro who just doesn’t understand what he’s doing is bad, Zod knows exactly what he’s doing is bad and that’s why he does it. 31. Galactus – The lone survivor of the universe that existed before ours, Galan was transformed into what we know as Galactus, the devourer or worlds. So powerful is Galactus that he can bestow untold power to anyone willing to serve as his herald, and that power (the power cosmic) instantly makes them one of the most powerful creatures in the entire universe. He needs the life-force of an entire planet to sustain him, and doesn’t care whether or not the planet has intelligent life on it or not. Several times he has attempted to consume Earth, but the Fantastic Four and the Silver Surfer always find a way to stop him. 30. Baron Zemo – While the Red Skull is the most well-known of Captain America’s villains and rightfully so, Baron Zemo has just as much hatred for the star spangled avenger. His mask was seemingly permanently attached to his face due to Captain America, and he swore revenge. He got his revenge when his bomb-carrying plane exploded over the English Channel, with Captain America and Bucky Barnes onboard. Although he didn’t kill Cap as he originally thought, he came closer than the Red Skull ever has. 29. Kang – Trying to keep up with Kang’s timeline is like trying to figure out people watch ‘Keeping up with the Kardashians’. Born in the 30th century in a perfect society, it didn’t take him long to become bored with it. Fascinated with history he decided to travel to ancient Egypt where he made his first attempt at changing history, by trying to make the child who would become Apocalypse his heir. No matter what, Kang will never stop trying to use time travel to rule the world. 28. Ozymandias – If ever there was a Benedict Arnold in the world of comics, it’s Adrian Veidt. The man set in motion a chain of events to turn the entire world against its most powerful hero, Dr. Manhattan, thinking a common enemy between all the nations was the best way to avoid nuclear war. He murdered the Comedian in cold blood when the outspoken vigilante figured out his plan, and by the time Night Owl and Rorschach figured it out it was far too late. The line, “Do you seriously think I’d explain my master-stroke if there remained the slightest chance of you affecting its outcome? I did it thirty-five minutes ago”, is one of the greatest lines ever delivered by a villain in any medium. 27. Bullseye – You would think a master assassin who never misses his target wouldn’t have much trouble taking care of a blind guy, but he did impale Elektra with her own sai, which killed Daredevil on the inside. 26. Juggernaut – This guy has went up against the X-men and walked away victorious, and did so without as much as a scratch on him. He is the definition of unstoppable, and his mean streak is a light year long. If there is a villain in the Marvel Universe you don’t want to show up if you’re a hero, it’s this guy. He can shatter mountains, can lift entire buildings off the ground and use them as weapons, and never gets tired. Once Juggernaut starts moving forward there is no force on Earth that can stop him.
25. Darkseid – Leave it up to Jack Kirby to create one of DC’s greatest villains. If there is an end all be all bad guy in the DCU it’s Darkseid, the ruler of Apokolips. His Hellspores are capable of blowing all the way to the core of a planet, and to say his armies are formidable is putting it very mildly. His Omega beams can destroy practically anything they come in contact with, and the armor he gave Lex Luthor enables him to trade blows with Superman. 24. Mephisto – Although he’s not actually Satan, he does rule over his own sort of Hell and wants souls so it’s easy to see where that could get confusing for people. He owned the soul of Cynthia Von Doom for years, and dangled the Silver Surfer’s true love in front of his face for years trying to corrupt him. No villain in comics understands what it means to be truly evil better than Mephisto. 23. Sentinels – Machines built specifically to hunt and kill mutants. It doesn’t get much worse than that, and the crazy thing is in the comics world the majority of the American people were behind them one hundred percent. From present day to apocalyptic futures full of mutant concentration camps, whenever one of Bolivar Trask’s creations is around it spells bad news for Professor Xavier’s crew. 21. Sabertooth – When it comes to being a badass, Victor Creed is as bad as they come. He tells people what he thinks of them, regardless of how powerful they might be, and he’ll never back down from a fight regardless of the opponent. What makes him so interesting is his deep psychological issues, like Wolverine he’s not really sure what memories are real and which ones were implanted. 20. Ultron – An android with genius level intellect and an indestructible admantium body, this creation of Hank Pym has terrorized the Avengers for years. The only good thing Ultron did was create the Vision, who turned against his creator and aided the Avengers and destroyed his creator. No matter how many times Ultron is defeated, it always takes everything the Avengers have to stop him…and he always comes back. 19. Sinestro – Formerly the greatest Green Lantern of them all, Sinestro is now their greatest enemy. Wielding a yellow power ring and forming the Sinestro Corps he has sworn to destroy the Guardians and their corps if it’s the last thing he ever does. While he hates all the Guardians and their Green Lantern corps, he despises no one any worse than he does Hal Jordan and Kyle Rayner, the latter of which he calls an “alley rat”. 18. Loki – The Norse God of Mischief, Loki mas been a thorn in the side of Asgardians for thousands of years. Jealous of the relationship Thor had with Odin, Loki continually tried to make Thor look foolish in the eyes of his father. Loki brought about the destruction of Asgard and the death of all the inhabitants. Not many villains can lay claim to the mass slaughter of the Gods. 17. Ra’s Al Ghul – What makes Ra’s such a formidable adversary of Batman? Well he’s a martial arts expert, but more than that he knows Batman is really Bruce Wayne. Out of his respect for the caped crusader he calls him ‘Detective’, and thinks Batman is the only suitor worthy of his daughter Talia. Thanks to his Lazarus Pits, capable of restoring the dead back to life, Ra’s will be around for a long time to come. 16. Sandman – I know I have Sandman ranked much higher than some that have compiled lists over the years, but people are quick to dismiss him without giving him credit for just how a deep a character he really is. He can turn his body into sand at any given moment, and create nearly anything he wants out of it. Unlike most super-villains, William Baker aka Flint Marko struggles with his morality, and has fought on the good side of the law on numerous occasions. Even as a villain there are certain things he refuses to do, and that’s what makes him so interesting to me. 15. Kingpin – There’s not much business going on in New York City that the Kingpin doesn’t have his hands on, legally or illegally. His confrontations with Spider-Man, Daredevil and the Punisher are too numerous to mention. When Spider-Man unmasked during the events of ‘Civil War’, the Kingpin immediately put hits out on Peter Parker’s family. Maybe even more dastardly, once he figured out that Matt Murdock was Daredevil he used his influence to ruin Murdock’s personal and professional life. 14. The Riddler – While Joker is Batman’s greatest foe, no other opponent frustrates the Dark Knight quite as much as Edward Nygma. If the Joker is on the loose, you just follow the chaos. But with the Riddler, you have to figure out what he’s really up to via the riddles he leaves everywhere. His greatest weakness is his addiction to riddles, never believing others to be smart enough to figure them out despite Batman proving him wrong time and time again. Maybe his greatest accomplishment is that he found the answer to the greatest riddle in all of Gotham City, who is the Batman? 13. Catwoman – Unlike most of Batman’s villains, Catwoman doesn’t really quality as a psychopath or a serial killer. Selina Kyle is an international thief, but has a moral code of sorts so that she only steals from criminals. To her that makes it all okay, but Batman believes stealing is stealing no matter who the victim is. This had led to countless encounters, which usually ended with Catwoman getting away. In recent years she’s been more of an anti-hero than a villain, but no matter what deep down her heart belongs to Batman. 12. Doctor Octopus – While the writers have always made the Green Goblin out to be Spider-Man’s arch enemy, Doctor Octopus seemed to always be more popular among readers. His four mechanical arms have always been a problem for the Spider-Man, and has defeated the wall crawler at a better rate that his super villain counterparts. He tried marrying Aunt May to rob her of her retirement, and it was his actions that led to the death of Captain George Stacy. Doc Ock was also the villain in Spider-Man 2, considered by many to be the best of Sam Raimi’s Spider-Man trilogy. 11. Black Adam – No character in comics, or any medium really, is any more of a badass than Black Adam. He does whatever he wants, whenever he wants, and he dares you to stand in his way. When his wife Isis perished, he went out and killed two million people while searching for her killer. The Marvel Family, the Global Guardians, the Doom Patrol, and the Teen Titans banded together to bring Adam to justice for his crimes, and was promptly handed their asses. Black Adam has had a few moments where he tried to do good again, but something always happens to keep Black Adam firmly entrenched on the side of the fence.
10. Deathstroke – The average person uses only ten percent of their brain, Slade Wilson uses ninety. Because of his brain capacity and thanks the experiments the U.S. government did attempting to create a meta-super solider, Slade’s reaction time his quicker than anyone in the DC universe save for the Flash. In Brad Meltzer’s acclaimed Identity Crisis mini-series he’s hired by Dr. Light for protection and when the JLA comes looking for Light, Deathstroke promptly mops the floor with the entire league. And the man is blind in eye thanks to his wife trying to kill him, just imagine how dangerous he would be with two good eyes. 9. Red Skull – Being the right hand man to Adolph Hitler is enough to justify his ranking in the top ten. Johann Schmidt is a Nazi thru and thru, and will stop at nothing to bring America to its knees. Under the guise of Dell Rusk he manipulated himself into the position of Secretary of Defense so that he could develop a massive biological weapon. In perhaps his greatest moment as a villain, the Red Skull watched as Crossbones attempted to assassin Captain America on the steps of a federal courthouse, then watched as a brainwashed Sharon Carter finished the job for him. Although we now know that the Skull just had Rogers frozen in time so he could torment him, it’s clear that the Skull is more than capable of sending America into full-fledged panic mode. 8. Apocalypse – Born in ancient Egypt, En Sabah Nur is the first mutant to appear in the Marvel universe. Apocalypse has had a hand in many things over the millennia, from overthrowing Egyptian dynasties to turning British scientist Nathaniel Essex into Mister Sinister in 1859. He took original X-man Warren Worthington III and gave him metal wings and renamed him Death, the leader of his Horsemen. Quite possibly the most powerful of the X-men villains, there is nothing that Apocalypse won’t do to get what he wants. 7. Brainiac – There’s a reason intelligent people are referred to as brainiacs, and it’s because of this classic Superman villain. Unlike most major super villains, Brainiac doesn’t want to rule the world or get rich. All he wants is knowledge, he just happens to be willing to destroy anything in his way to get it. He’s wiped out entire planets just so he can absorb their information. He’s used his advanced science to miniaturize and bottle cities so he can study them, as he did with Kandor. He’s succeed in doing the same to Metropolis, but Superman was able to restore it. In an act of spite Brainiac fired a missile at the Kent farm, which caused Jonathan Kent to have a fatal heart attack. While Brainiac may not have succeeded in killing Superman, he did manage to rip the Man of Steel’s heart out. 6. Two-Face – At one time he was possibly the best District Attorney in the United States of America, before his tough and aggressive stance on crime got him disfigured, and ultimately driving him insane. Nearly every action he takes is decided by a coin flip. In World’s Finest Comics #173 Batman declares Two-Face is the criminal he most fears, and that’s coming from someone who has to deal with the Joker. 5. Doctor Doom – There’s only one super-villain who can do whatever he wants and get away with it because of diplomatic immunity, and that’s Victor Von Doom. He’s a polymath scientific genius and has created everything from time machines to devices to imbue people with super powers. Extremely vain he won’t allow anyone to see his real face except for his DoomBots, and he blames his disfigurement on Reed Richards and wants to see him dead more than anything in the world. 4. Green Goblin – Norman Osborne is as interesting a character as there is in the land of comic books. He’s a great businessman. He’s a certified genius. He’s also crazier than hell and wants to kill Spider-Man and has a split personality and dresses up like a green goblin and throws life of drug use, but was more concerned with destroying Spider-Man than he was helping his own son get better. He kidnapped Peter Parker’s true love Gwen Stacy and took her to the top of the Brooklyn Bridge (the George Washington Bridge was a typo people, let it go already) and knocked her from the top of it which led to her death. He even positioned himself to be the head of S.H.I.E.L.D., making him the top cop in the United States of America. And what did he want to do when he got that position more than anything else? Destroy Spider-Man of course. 3. Lex Luthor – Quite possibly the most famous villain in fictional history in any medium. He’s been featured in several movies and in hundreds of episodes of Superman TV shows. The comics tell us his father was abusive and that Lex built his company from the ground up. The WB/CW series Smallville tells us his father was a rich and ruthless businessman who was very hard on his son, which eventually leads to Lex killing his own father while delivering the classic line, “I was raised in your shadow…now you’re going to die in mine. No one will even remember your name.” His company LexCorp is one of the largest businesses in all of comics. He views Superman not as a hero that is out saving lives, rather as an alien that cannot be trusted. He feels Earth should have a hero that is a native son…himself. He truly believes that once he kills Superman that world will appreciate him for saving them from the alien. 2. Magneto –I’ll be honest, I couldn’t decide who to ranked #1 and who to rank #2, it was that tough of a decision. I flip-flopped several times, before ultimately deciding one was simply more evil than the other. Let’s face it, Magneto plays the role of a super-villain, but it he really evil deep down inside? All he’s doing is what he feels is the right thing for the mutant race, which has been persecuted by Homo sapiens for years. His motivation is simple as a survivor of the Jewish Holocaust; he doesn’t want to see mutants suffer the same fate, and will do anything in his power to prevent such from happening. It doesn’t help the cause of the X-men when nearly every possible future timeline they get a glimpse into mutants are kept in concentration camps or hunted to near the point of extinction. He’s good friends with Professor Charles Xavier despite them having come to blows over their opposing stances over the years. Magneto has tried doing things the peaceful way as leader of the X-men in Xavier’s absence, and he’s tried doing it with force. He’s even tried living on an asteroid in space to keep himself away from humans and their mutant hating ways, but violence nevertheless found its way to his doorstep. He truly believes there is a way coming, and you don’t want to be against him when it happens. 1. Joker – The clown prince of crime is truly deserving of the greatest villain of all-time. He’s murdered hundreds, if not thousands, of innocent people just for the hell of it. He shot Barbara Gordon (formerly Batgirl, now Oracle) thru the spine paralyzing her, then took naked pictures of her and used them to torture her father, Commissioner Jim Gordon, whom he’d taken to an abandon amusement. The purpose: to prove to Gordon that anyone can be driven crazy, and all it takes is “one bad day.” He kidnapped all of Gotham’s infants from the hospital and waits for Sarah Essen Gordon (the Commissioner’s wife) to discover them, and then shoots her in the head. While he has no definitive origin, the most widely accepted one depicts him as a failed comedian who was struggling to provide for his family, and gets mixed up with the wrong crowd. When he tried to get out they threaten to kill his pregnant wife, which they do anyway. You can’t help but feel sorry for the character, he didn’t ask for anything that happened to him. One fall in a chemical tank later combined with the horrific events that day turned him from a loving husband and expecting father to a true psychopath, a homicidal maniac who kills just for laughs.
I have to be honest, I never understood what Clark Kent saw in Lois Lane. Reading the comics I always thought she was an extremely selfish woman who was only concerned with herself, and didn’t care who she had to step on to get what she wants. That might not be how she was intended to be written, but that’s the way she always came across to me. She always got herself into situations no sane person ever would, and Superman would always come to her rescue. The most realistic thing about Lois in the comics was the way she treated Clark, like he didn’t exist. We’ve all had that one person who we were just head over heels for, and they never saw it. Clark was like that with Lois, helplessly in love and she couldn’t see it for her own love for Superman. We’ve all been there, in love with the girl who was dating the biggest jerk in town, yet she believed one day he would change. Or for the ladies, in love with the guy who was dating a girl who cheated on him left and right, but refused to acknowledge the fact. Maybe that’s why so many of us loved Superman, because we all knew how Clark felt being in love with someone who didn’t love us back.
The thing that always bugged me was other than it taking place over the course of 70+ years in the comics, in all other versions of the mythos we never got to see Clark fall in love with Lois. We were basically just told Clark Kent is madly in love with Lois Lane, but she only has eyes for Superman. That’s pretty much how in went down in The Adventures of Superman starring George Reeves and Noel Neill. Reeves version of Clark wasn’t so pathetic pining after Lois, but she still always just looked at him as a colleague.
In the late 70’s and 1980’s we were given a new Clark Kent and Lois Lane, yet nothing changed. As far as movies go, Superman: The Movie and Superman II were amazing, even today. But I’m on the subject of Clois, not the material surrounding it. Once again we’re essentially told that Clark Kent is in love with Lois, only this time it happens damn near the moment he sees her, as she’s blowing him off to talk to Perry White. The thing that irritated me more than anything else in the Superman movies, was how in the world Clark Kent could fall in love with such a hateful bitch. Let’s face it, Margot Kidder’s Lois had no redeeming qualitites really. While she wasn’t hideous, she wasn’t really pretty either. I would imagine anyone at the Daily Planet would rather do a naked frog splash on a cactus as spend five minutes with her. Christopher Reeve’s Clark was such a nice guy, I could see why Lois would like him…but once again no she only has eyes for Superman.
The 1990’s gave us Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman, and finally they were on the right track. Teri Hatcher gave us the best Lois Lane to date at that point, and she let us see inside the character and made me actually like Lois Lane. Before my image of her was tainted by Margot Kidder’s take on it, and was unable to burn that out of my mind. But Teri Hatcher was amazing, and let us see just enough of Lois’s soft side to see why Clark would fall in love with her. The only failure on L&C, was once again Clark was in love with her the moment he saw her. You could see it in his eyes. There was no him warming up to her, it was love at first sight.
The 2000’s have given us Smallville, an amazing show which is closing in on 200 episodes, a feat most show don’t come close to. The great thing about Smallville is we see what Clark’s life is like without Lois in it. He had the schoolboy crush on Lana, and like we all do when that first person we’re crushing on returns our attention, we think we’re in love. That wasn’t meant to be, as season 4 would introduce us to his destiny, Lois Lane.
The first time we meet her, Erica Durance’s Lois is as abrasive as ever. We get just a glimpse of something different when Clark’s blanket falls off him leaving him naked, and that little smile she gives is very telling. Clark and Lois don’t get along at all in that first year, yet we can feel the chemistry between them right away. I remember thinking he’ll be head over heels in love with that girl in no time, but that wasn’t the case. Lois continued to be a thorn in Clark’s side, but you could see little by little she was getting to him. As much as Tom Welling’s Clark and Erica’s Lois would bust each other’s chops, it was apparant that they were slowly starting to appreciate each other. Eventually the almost started treating each other as friend’s instead of just like they weren’t friends themselves, just friends of friends.
Season 8 started things going in the right direction, Clark and Lois finally started to really notice how great the other was. Neither wanted to admit it to anyone else, let alone each other. Everyone could see it though, Oliver, Chloe, and Jimmy could all tell that Clark and Lois were falling for each other. It was all set to culminate with Chloe & Jimmy’s wedding with their dance, but for some reason the writers decided to try and force feed us some Clana (Clark & Lana), and that promptly killed the eigth season for many people. The Smallville fan base wanted Clois, and they wanted it bad. Season 9 finally put Clark & Lois back on the right track. Started out slow, but we got to see their first kiss and actually start dating. Now in the tenth and final season, and we have the Lois & Clark relationship we’ve waited for. No longer are we just told Clark loves Lois more than anything, we can actually see he loves her. Lois went from being possibly the most abrasive thing in Clark’s life to the one thing he can’t live without. And much like Clark couldn’t stand Lois in the beginning, she didn’t care for him much either. Fast forward to now, and Clark is the most important person in Lois’s life, and that was before she knew his secret. No longer are we just told they love each other, we’ve actually been shown and we can’t get enough of them. I applaud the writers & producers of Smallville, as well as Erica Durance & Tom Welling, for showing us why Lois & Clark are truly one of the greatest fictional couples of all-time.
“So much better in technicolour.”
- Smallville 10x01 ‘Lazarus’
(via foretmagique)
Since my list of my 25 favorite episodes is taking much longer than I thought to compile, I thought I would ranked the season premieres since there are only nine of them so far. You might agree with the list, you might not. But hey it’s my list if you don’t like it do your own :p So without further ado…
9. ZOD (Season 6) First off, just because an episode is ranked last doesn’t mean I don’t like it, because all the season premieres and finales are very good save for one (Doomsday). Zod is my least favorite of the premieres, mainly because the season finale in S5 (Vessel) was so good and then Zod just didn’t live up to the expectation I had for it.
8. ODYSSEY (Season 8) There are a lot of people who hated this premiere, but I enjoyed it. There aren’t many episodes with the future Justice League together, and this just happens to be one of them. We get to see Green Arrow, Black Canary, Auqaman and Martian Manhunter all in one episode trying to save Clark.
7. ARRIVAL (Season 5) We see the spaceship that brought two evil Kryptonians to Earth, and more importantly the arrival of Brainiac. To me the episode just works better somehow that Odyssey and that’s why I have it higher.
6. BIZARRO (Season 7) Another opener that some people didn’t care for but I really enjoyed. We get the Smallville take on a classic Superman villain (Bizarro), the arrival of Supergirl, and we learn exactly what Chloe’s meteor-enhanced power is. The scene with Clark and J’onn J’onzz in the barn is a classic, J’onzz tells him the key to defeating the phantom is something that’s all around him and he ignores everyday to which Clark walks to the opening and says “…the yellow sun.” Good stuff.
5. VORTEX (Season 2) I’m not really big on this episode, but it’s the first time we really see how untrustworthy Lex Luthor is. Episodes in those first couple of years were so well put together it helps Vortex get the nod over the others.
4. SAVIOR (Season 9) Clark Kent with the big \S/ on his chest, need I say more? Clark takes a huge step towards becoming Superman as he gets a costume for the first time. So what if it does look like he’s a big fan of Neo from the Matrix, it still has maybe the world’s most famous logo on the front of it. Lois comes back from the future (but without a DeLorean…that would have rocked) and ends up fighting a Kryptonian on a train. The scene where Clark rushes in and saves the train is epic.
3. CRUSADE (Season 4) Two huge moments in this episode. Number one, we get introduced to the future Ms. Clark Kent, Lois Lane. The chemistry between Erica Durance and Tom Welling on screen is instant. The other huge moment? HE FLEW! Yes he was “Kal-El” and not really aware of what he was doing, but he f**king leaps into the sky and flies after Lex’s jet and rips the door of the hinges and takes a crystal meant for him. That scene was sooo badass, maybe my favorite of the entire series.
2. EXILE (Season 3) Clark Kent on red Kryptonite, hard to argue with anything about that. While Clark was a bad boy in the S2 episode ‘Red’ while on red K, this episode Clark is a bad ass on red K. He busts open ATM machines for cash to buy a Ferrari, then ditches the hot girl at the club and just lets her walk off. The scene where he busts up the bank robbery, only to rob it himself? Right up there with the flight scene in Crusade. Oh and the phone booth scene where he rips his shirt…classic.
1. PILOT (Season 1) How could this not be number one? Many a Smallville fan watches the show to this day because they saw the premiere and were hooked. We never saw Clark Kent growing up before. We see him as Superboy in the comics in the 50’s and 60’s (which is sooo lame, John Byrne’s vision is much, much better) but never really growing up. We just all assumed that it was awesome being Clark Kent as a teenager, but the show teaches us differently. He can’t play sports because someone could accidentally get hurt. He can’t tell anyone his secret for fear they rat him out to the government and they make a lab rat out of him. And he can’t get near the girl of his dreams because of a kryptonite necklace she wears. “I just wanna go thru high school without being a total loser” is a great line, and really sums up what it’s like to be him. We see Jonathan Kent set him down and tell him the truth. “What are you telling me Dad…that I’m from another planet?” and the response from Jonathan Kent, the look he gives Clark is one of the greatest moments on Smallville.
mmm yeah clois
I love them!!!